It's funny how used to frenetic activity one can become: I gave myself Saturday and Sunday 'off' to celebrate spring break, and already I'm bored. Of course, the fact that I didn't leave the house yesterday might have something to do with that. The piles of homework that I have to do won't leave me bored for long, however. Honestly, I don't understand how people who go get drunk on tropical beaches during spring break ever get all their work done in a semester- for me, spring break is absolutely necessary work time. On the other hand, maybe those drunk-on-the-beach types don't care about getting all their work done.
Last week's big project was writing up Queer Union's budget for next year. Having student organization budgets due the day before spring break started seems like some kind of sick joke; I bet the student government people were just cackling away all week, watching everyone scramble to finish their group's budgets on top of completing their midterms. We got ours in with little trouble, actually. QU does a lot of the same events each year, making the budget somewhat formulaic. I was looking at some of the old budget requests in our file cabinet the other day- as recently as 1994 we were asking for only $3000 a year, while now our programming has expanded so much that our request for next year is almost $12,000. We likely won't get more than 75% of that amount, but even still, the change is remarkable.
Being a second-semester junior is getting kind of scary, now-- I have to start making decisions about the future. It really hit home when my advisor uttered the words "we'll have to start looking at grad programs." Uh oh. There are three main paths I'm thinking about taking:
- Apply to a psychology grad program in counseling; become a therapist or related occupation.
- Apply to psychology research grad programs; become an academic or do research for a private organization.
- Apply to law school; go into public policy or non-profit work.
Naturally, each option has its benefits and drawbacks. First of all, the timing: I had hoped to take a year or two off between undergrad and grad school in order to take a break from academics and pull together some extra cash. With law school, I can apply next fall and defer for up to two years, allowing me the time off that I want. Deferral is not an option with psych grad programs, which means I either wait to apply for an extra year or two, or just give up the idea of taking time in "the real world".
Another consideration is the financial security factor: Being an academic, I'm told, is a bit of a crapshoot these days. Private counselors don't always do much better, thanks to the structure of HMOs. Non-profit work doesn't pay particularly well, but it can provide a steady living. If I go to law school, I also have the option of 'selling out' to the corporate world if the going gets tough.
Which option is 'best', which option I'm 'meant for', which option I'm most interested in for the long run, all change in my mind from day to day. A few weeks ago, I had a crystal clear image of myself as an academic, while this morning in the shower I had myself convinced I should be a therapist. I'd love to just shove it all aside and decide later, but 'later' will probably be too close to 'too late' for comfort, so I'm just going to have to continue to mull over all of this until I figure out some kind of solution.