The discussion on Mindspace today eventually turned to the topic of power and femininity. My hackles rose quickly, and here's my somewhat slapdash response:

Who is to say what is feminine and what is masculine? I am a women, and so everything that I am and that I do must, as a result, must be feminine. In me, everything from computer programming and working with tools to caring for children and cooking are equally feminine. I think it's a grave mistake to categorize all women as more nurturing and peace-loving than men. Women are not formed from a single mold; they are not all submissive, nurturing, hearthside goddesses. I am angry at the notion that the only power women can have is "feminine power", that restrictive, essentialist entity. My power does not come from my genitals, but from my strength, my intelligence, my assertiveness, and my sense of justice. That kind of power simply must cross gender lines.

The idea of masculine versus feminine power is equally detrimental to men: As women are not cut from the same cloth, so men are just as varied. Men nurture, men believe in non-violence, not all are willing participants in the patriarchal structure of power that has existed for so long. Claiming that men are not capable of kindness or gentleness deprives them of their own humanity and paints them as cold-hearted one-dimensional warmongers.

The solution to the binding categories enforced by our gender is not, I'm afraid, as simple as instating a "feminine global power". As far as I'm concerned, it is the categories themselves that need to rebelled against. Humans need to have the freedom to explore and express their personality to the fullest, without restrictions based merely on anatomy. Be who you are, not who society insists you must be.

That particular line of thought has been recurrent for me lately, and really became concrete at the last QU meeting: At the start of the meeting, we all took part in an "experiential learning" exercise which asked us, a mixed group of men and women of varying sexual orientations, to line up in order from most feminine to most masculine. It was an interesting task, for our group in particular. Most of us dived towards the middle at first, but as you might guess from my thoughts above, I really won't push myself closer to the masculine end just because I have no qualms about using tools and because I'm attracted to women. It goes against my instincts to buy into social constructs to that extent, and it seems to me that the only way to get rid of such silly labels as 'masculine' and 'feminine' is to stretch their boundaries until they lose all meaning.

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Playing: Ani DiFranco's Living In Clip